You know what they say "when one or more of your senses don't fully work, you over develope the others", which in my case is TOTALLY true!
Throughout the years my body has pushed me to make up for the lack of vision: my smell and taste are very acute, my ears hear stuff they shouldn't, and I am very touchy....and not just with people.
So much so that one of my fave past times when I'm out somewhere is listen to other people's conversations; not so much because I am nosy, but because my eyes get "bored" of not seeing much so my body entertain itself by listening to every tiny little sound.
I was recently in a park, relaxing on the grass and enjoying the breeze. My eyes pretty soon got "bored" of the tree in front of me and the 3 pigeons sunbathing on my left, so my ears thought "hey, why not listen in on to this bunch of Spanish on the right!". Well my dear ears, I despise you.....and I also temporarily despised the fact I can speak a bit of and perfectly understand Spanish.
The group of 2 girls and 2 boys were sitting there happily talking about me and laughing at me. You see that day I had decided to walk out the door with no make up on, I very often do that, so that made me an even easier target for derision.
I shall not repeat the comments, but let's just say it wasn't anything I haven't heard in 26 years of almost daily verbal abuse, sly comments etc etc.
It went on for about 15 minutes, and when they went to get up and leave, I burst out a "I am REALLY loving Fernando Alonso with Ferrari this year" in my best Spanish. Well.... they didn't look too impressed by my Spanish knowledge. Oooops....
I went back to enjoying the birds singing and the distant sound of the tram's "ding ding", when I noticed a small group of young women claiming the spot where the Spanish had been sitting.
As soon as they were within ear shot I thought "oooh... Frenchies! Girlie talk about fashion and beauty perhaps? Please?". Did I mention I can speak French too? No? I do.
Well let me tell you they were the most boring group of Frenh women I have ever met; they were talking about somebody's brother's girlfriend who couldn't decide what car to buy. You know me, I'm a complete and utter petrol head, but listening to most women discussing cars makes my blood boil. Besides, they were French, they were MEANT to discuss fashion and/or beauty, for godness sake!
So I disconnect my ears and almost fall asleep when...holy moly, they are laughing! But...hold on a second, they are not just laughing, they're laughing at me! How dare the boring fashionless, beautyless Frenchies laugh at me?! Tsk!
So I let them have their little pathetic fun and when I saw them gathering their things to leave a while later, I spat "so who do you prefer between YSL and JPG?", in French obviously.
Making ignorant people feel small is priceless... for everything else there's Mastercard! (if your bank is nice enough, that is)